Against my better judgement, Thread Social is inspiring in me a new appreciation for things like rompers, jumpsuits, high waisted shorts and harem pants. When the models look so huggably amazing, how can a girl resist? Maybe the right cut in a romper won’t reduce me to looking like a gnome in the wardrobe of a five-year-old. Maybe a well made pair of high waisted shorts won’t make me look like a box, as wide as I am tall. Excuse me while I rush off to the shops to find out. Right after we have a little drool over my favourite looks:

SPRING 2010

I really love the dress below, but I suspect it wouldn’t be too tough to make at home. My DIY projects always start out infused with so much hope and excitement. Then, after hours and days of toiling over the sewing machine, or hand stitching tiny beads onto fabric, I always seem to end up with some ill-fitting, strange-looking heap of fabric that I’m forced to banish to the back of my closet because I’m sick of looking at it. But, in spite of my dramatic complaining, I remain undeterred and every couple of months I embark on a new project, hopeful and excited all over again. Stay tuned for either frustration or elation when I finish trying to make my own version of this dress.

This is the beautiful romper that keeps singing its pesky siren song to me:

I pledge my heart to these shorts. Actually, this whole outfit:

RESORT 2009

This gorgeous dress needs to be part of my outfit repertoire for the little post-wedding Roman holiday I’m taking with the Boyfriend next June:

And in case I spill marinara sauce on the first dress, I can always change into this lovely variation:

HOLIDAY 2009

This jumpsuit looks pretty chic-ghetto fabaluss on the model, but I suspect it would just look ghetto on me:

But who needs jumpsuits when there are things like this lovely dress. Get in my closet IMMEDIATELY!

I have this suspicion not because I think he’s evil, or because I feel cold when I look into his eyes, but because I don’t know how any person could come up with season after season of such intensely complicated, beautiful clothes without having engaged in a dodgy transaction with a seriously powerful counterparty. Who needs private equity money when you have Satan?

Today I’m in the mood to take a little walk down memory lane with one of the most talented designers on the planet. A mid-career retrospective on some of my favourite McQueen looks. It’s a long walk, so you better put on some flats.

RESORT 2010

Resort wear? Must be a pretty amazing resort. Who wouldn’t want a weird bug-inspired dress or pair of leggings?

FALL/WINTER 2008

If the Little Prince had lived in British Raj India instead of being a lonely, far-away asteroid-dweller, I think his girlfriends probably would have worn stuff like this:

I need a gown made from chicken feathers RIGHT NOW.

This heavy red satin bolero is deadly cool. It looks like McQueen pried two roses open and stuffed the model’s arms through the centre of the petals. LOVE.

I didn’t think decadence and luxury like this existed anymore, but here they are, lovingly stitched on the bodice of this beautiful gown.

It’s Alice! Doesn’t her skirt look so cuddly?

Easter Racing Carnival hat anyone? It can double as a very cool fireplace screen in a pinch.

FALL/WINTER 2009

I am so disturbed right now that I might need someone to hold me. What was he thinking when he came up with this stuff? Those blood red and black clown mouths look downright depraved.

And what about this white feathered bondage nest? I’d say it’s f’d up, but then my mom would get mad at me for swearing on my blog again.

PRE-FALL 2009

One part dominatrix, one part A Clockwork Orange. If I was a girl droog, (which I suppose is an oxymoron, since those droogs were such misogynistic little bastards), this is what I would wear. And I would whip Alex and his gang of white pants wearing, walking stick wielding, moloko drinking hooligans into shape with my riding crop.

If only you could really wear an outfit like this in the snow. Between the argyle tights and the open-faced balaclava, you’d be so toasty. Unfortunately snowy weather dictates you wear hideous things like “sensible shoes” and “loose pants with long underwear underneath.” Might as well give up now, slob around in trackies and use public bathrooms while barefoot like Britney.

SPRING/SUMMER 2010

I love how the prints of the SS10 collection morph from snake/lizard to rust, gold and black hued swirls to gorgeous dark florals, to ice queen blues and silvers with contrasting touches of orange. So much outrageous visual gluttony.

One strategically placed sweep of stiff plastic:

And one not so strategically placed sweep of stiff plastic misses its mark. The model looks a bit like a boy, but somehow the androgyny looks really good here. Fashion forward Star Trek-like aliens don’t get all tangled up with silly gender labels anyway.

I wonder how they got her hair so tall.

I know this has been intense, so let’s take a little breather and look at some nice, subdued black booties.

And now I’ll sign off with my favourite shoe on the planet. I wonder if I should get a bigger Christmas stocking so that Santa will be able to fit these shoes in it?

All photos source: www.style.com

As if sensing my loss of hope, Aussie Vogue for October 2009 had a clever idea and has done a four page spread on the Resort collections. In a country where it’s mostly hot, and where wearing a jacket in winter is less a necessity and more of an optional wink at a season no one really understands, why not look to the Resort collections? The Resort and Pre-fall collections are for the insatiable appetites of the fashion-savvy. These days, designers are not only showing Spring and Fall, but also Resort and Pre-fall for the lulls in between the major collections. The Resort collections are shown in June and a lot of them are available in the flesh in shops around the country (or at least online) right this second. The Pre-fall collections are shown in January and are available just in time for our mild, snowless winter.

Resort collections tend to be a bit more pared down and wearable. They appeal to the masses – the masses who can afford them, anyway. They’re also a bit cheaper than the major collections, although when your dress is ringing in at $5,000, I don’t think “cheaper” is a consideration that generally crosses your mind. Regardless of the season, shopping for designer clothing in Sydney is like highway robbery. You offer them a credit card, and they snatch your wallet and drain your superannuation account.

Here are a few of my favourites:

Doo.Ri

Photo: www.style.com

Marc Jacobs

Photo: www.style.com

Photo: www.style.com

Photo: www.style.com

Marchesa

Photo: www.style.com

Miu Miu

Photo: www.style.com

Balenciaga

Photo: www.style.com

Photo: www.style.com

Photo: www.style.com

3.1 Phillip Lim

Photo: www.style.com

Photo: www.style.com

Photo: www.style.com