Against my better judgement, Thread Social is inspiring in me a new appreciation for things like rompers, jumpsuits, high waisted shorts and harem pants. When the models look so huggably amazing, how can a girl resist? Maybe the right cut in a romper won’t reduce me to looking like a gnome in the wardrobe of a five-year-old. Maybe a well made pair of high waisted shorts won’t make me look like a box, as wide as I am tall. Excuse me while I rush off to the shops to find out. Right after we have a little drool over my favourite looks:

SPRING 2010

I really love the dress below, but I suspect it wouldn’t be too tough to make at home. My DIY projects always start out infused with so much hope and excitement. Then, after hours and days of toiling over the sewing machine, or hand stitching tiny beads onto fabric, I always seem to end up with some ill-fitting, strange-looking heap of fabric that I’m forced to banish to the back of my closet because I’m sick of looking at it. But, in spite of my dramatic complaining, I remain undeterred and every couple of months I embark on a new project, hopeful and excited all over again. Stay tuned for either frustration or elation when I finish trying to make my own version of this dress.

This is the beautiful romper that keeps singing its pesky siren song to me:

I pledge my heart to these shorts. Actually, this whole outfit:

RESORT 2009

This gorgeous dress needs to be part of my outfit repertoire for the little post-wedding Roman holiday I’m taking with the Boyfriend next June:

And in case I spill marinara sauce on the first dress, I can always change into this lovely variation:

HOLIDAY 2009

This jumpsuit looks pretty chic-ghetto fabaluss on the model, but I suspect it would just look ghetto on me:

But who needs jumpsuits when there are things like this lovely dress. Get in my closet IMMEDIATELY!

I have this suspicion not because I think he’s evil, or because I feel cold when I look into his eyes, but because I don’t know how any person could come up with season after season of such intensely complicated, beautiful clothes without having engaged in a dodgy transaction with a seriously powerful counterparty. Who needs private equity money when you have Satan?

Today I’m in the mood to take a little walk down memory lane with one of the most talented designers on the planet. A mid-career retrospective on some of my favourite McQueen looks. It’s a long walk, so you better put on some flats.

RESORT 2010

Resort wear? Must be a pretty amazing resort. Who wouldn’t want a weird bug-inspired dress or pair of leggings?

FALL/WINTER 2008

If the Little Prince had lived in British Raj India instead of being a lonely, far-away asteroid-dweller, I think his girlfriends probably would have worn stuff like this:

I need a gown made from chicken feathers RIGHT NOW.

This heavy red satin bolero is deadly cool. It looks like McQueen pried two roses open and stuffed the model’s arms through the centre of the petals. LOVE.

I didn’t think decadence and luxury like this existed anymore, but here they are, lovingly stitched on the bodice of this beautiful gown.

It’s Alice! Doesn’t her skirt look so cuddly?

Easter Racing Carnival hat anyone? It can double as a very cool fireplace screen in a pinch.

FALL/WINTER 2009

I am so disturbed right now that I might need someone to hold me. What was he thinking when he came up with this stuff? Those blood red and black clown mouths look downright depraved.

And what about this white feathered bondage nest? I’d say it’s f’d up, but then my mom would get mad at me for swearing on my blog again.

PRE-FALL 2009

One part dominatrix, one part A Clockwork Orange. If I was a girl droog, (which I suppose is an oxymoron, since those droogs were such misogynistic little bastards), this is what I would wear. And I would whip Alex and his gang of white pants wearing, walking stick wielding, moloko drinking hooligans into shape with my riding crop.

If only you could really wear an outfit like this in the snow. Between the argyle tights and the open-faced balaclava, you’d be so toasty. Unfortunately snowy weather dictates you wear hideous things like “sensible shoes” and “loose pants with long underwear underneath.” Might as well give up now, slob around in trackies and use public bathrooms while barefoot like Britney.

SPRING/SUMMER 2010

I love how the prints of the SS10 collection morph from snake/lizard to rust, gold and black hued swirls to gorgeous dark florals, to ice queen blues and silvers with contrasting touches of orange. So much outrageous visual gluttony.

One strategically placed sweep of stiff plastic:

And one not so strategically placed sweep of stiff plastic misses its mark. The model looks a bit like a boy, but somehow the androgyny looks really good here. Fashion forward Star Trek-like aliens don’t get all tangled up with silly gender labels anyway.

I wonder how they got her hair so tall.

I know this has been intense, so let’s take a little breather and look at some nice, subdued black booties.

And now I’ll sign off with my favourite shoe on the planet. I wonder if I should get a bigger Christmas stocking so that Santa will be able to fit these shoes in it?

All photos source: www.style.com

The collection, designed by Maria Grazia Chiuri and Pier Paolo Piccioli, is fresh and gorgeous and young and wonderful. Even though the pair has been designing for the label for a few seasons, I think they’ve finally stepped out from Valentino’s shadow and found their own aesthetic. I’m so excited to see a new point of view from a house that was made famous with elegant hand-stitched gowns (every sequin, every seam sewn by the meticulous hands of a seamstress wielding her needle) in famous Valentino red, designed by a man who thinks an evening gown that shows a woman’s ankles is vulgar.

The success of this new collection has put the label in the esteemed company of some of my usual favourites: Prada, Balenciaga and Marc Jacobs. Every season I die for my favourites. And now I die for Valentino too. That’s a lot of dying.

There’s a crumpled kind of beauty about this collection. It seems like the designers carelessly tossed the fabric around the models’ bodies and it happened to fall just right in perfect swirls and bows. The shaggy-headed models all look so fantastically dishevelled and undone, like they’ve been running through the woods on a windy night. I guess what I love most about the collection is that the whole thing is really wearable. Nothing is absolutely nuts, and it’s nice to see a collection that you could wear, piece for piece, right off the runway.

Behold the genius:

In real life, either the jacket or the skirt alone would be divine. Worn together, the look is a bit puffy and overdone for my liking.

Source: www.style.com

This butter coloured swirl of silk is heavenly. It looks more like a giant flower than a dress, but I love how soft the colour and the shape are.

Source: www.style.com

Sheer short suits? How awesome can you get?

Source: www.style.com

Excuse me while I fall down stunned by how pretty this is. The pattern reminds me of Rorschach tests (OK fine, ink blot tests. I cheated and used Wikipedia to find the real name. How can anyone possibly remember how to spell Rorschach? How do you even say that?) This dress is such a simple, almost typical shape, but the beauty is all in the print of the fabric and the centre pleat.

Source: www.style.com

The simple shape of this dress works well because it doesn’t detract from the whorls of silk creeping over the skirt and up the bodice.

Source: www.style.com

This dress makes the model look like she just dragged herself up onto the sand from a rough sea, and I mean that in the best possible way.

Source: www.style.com

Knock me down, these shoes are gorgeous.

Source: www.style.com

So all the lamenting unflattering clothes aside, I’ve decided that shoes are the perfect way to update my wardrobe without doing a complete overhaul. Shoes are always good to us women. No matter how much weight we lose or gain, our shoes always fit. Trying on a pair of shoes will never make you regret the Big Mac you ate for lunch, or make the change room mirrors reflect back at you in that devastatingly hideous way.

If the shapes in your wardrobe are fairly classic, then the best way to update is with an edgy pair of shoes. A good pair of shoes can make a dress that’s a bit too pretty look chic and fashion forward. Equally, a bad pair of shoes can make an amazing designer dress look rubbish. Sorry Sandra Bullock, but you need to fire your stylist. (I originally had the actual photo posted, but it offended me so much every time I opened the blog that I had to replace it with a link) As we see from the Sandra Bullock exhibit, a bad pair of shoes can destroy an outfit. Bad hair doesn’t help either.

Recently I was a bridesmaid for a friend’s wedding. Our dresses were sleeveless, high-waisted chocolate brown chiffon that fell below the knee. When discussing footwear options by email, someone suggested a practical black, closed toe shoe. We all owned a pair, after all. It was all so illegal my head almost exploded. I had to shut my laptop and walk away, otherwise I would have been shouting in all caps about how we might as well wear those black lace up sneakers they sell at the chemist that are extra wide to accommodate diabetes-related foot swelling. BLASPHEMY. In the end, the bride won and we all wore pale gold.

Thankfully I can put that episode behind me and focus my efforts on important things. Like trawling the collections for good shoes to post on my blog.

For the last few seasons, shoes seem to have been becoming more and more avant-garde. Many are downright weird. There is the ankle boot, and the strappy, sometimes bondage-esque platform shoe, there are strange interpretations of the heel (or in Antonio Berardi’s case, the heel is removed altogether and replaced with…air), eccentric embellishments and the always practical boot with the toe missing, (which, by the way, I LOVE).

Anyway, here are some of my favourite shoes from the Spring collections:

Booties

Photo: Nina Ricci

Way to ruin a perfectly good photo of beautiful shoes with your creepy claw toes, model.

Photo: Miu Miu

Photo: Alexander Wang

Photo: 3.1 Phillip Lim

Photo: 3.1 Phillip Lim

I love the first Phillip Lim pair, but they don’t seem very Spring to me. I can imagine them with opaque tights, a ridiculously short skirt and a fluffy fur, real or faux.

Photo: Alexander McQueen

Photo: Alexander McQueen

Am I crazy? I die for these mechanical robot-looking booties from Alexander McQueen. They’re so unique, and as long as your outfit was fairly toned down, I don’t think they’d look that weird. (According to the Boyfriend, the style of these booties is based on a fiction genre called Steampunk)

Strappy

Photo: Burberry

Photo: Burberry

I also die for these shoes from Burberry, especially the knotted pair with the black platform soles. Not everyone does the socks and heels thing, but I think they really suit the knotted and tangled look that Christopher Bailey has going on at Burberry this season.

Photo: Yves St. Laurent

Photo: Yves St. Laurent

Elegant Confections

Photo: Valentino

Photo: Valentino

Photo: Valentino

I love the new young point of view at Valentino now that Maria Grazie Chiuri and Pier Paolo Piccioli (doubt I’ll ever be able to remember those names) have taken the helm.

Photo: Dries Van Noten

Photo: Nina Ricci

Crazy Go Nuts

Photo: Alexander McQueen

Photo: Alexander McQueen

These shoes from Alexander McQueen look like they have a brain and could control the wearer telepathically.

I’m especially in love with the little cropped green jacket and beige dress combo in the second picture. I’m afraid if I go inside, I might go on a rampage, snatching everything up and crippling my credit card. Must. Have. Self. Control.

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