cult of clothes

We’ve just moved house and I feel like I’ve been cut loose in a vast and lonely ocean, without internet at home for up to eight business days. Eight.

I asked the call centre guy from our internet provider if it was still the stone age, and if his favourite lunch hour pastime was to go hunting with wooden clubs for sabre-toothed tigers. I asked him if he and his colleagues wear fur loincloths, brush their teeth with twigs and worry about pterodactyls stealing their babies. Danger of pterodactyl-related kidnappings. Now that’s a good reason for an eight day delay to hook up internet service. He didn’t laugh. I guess in the stone age they’re not used to people as hilarious as I am.

Anyway, since I can’t upload photos from a phone, here are some cool links, fashion and otherwise, to keep you going until my technological travails are over.

1.

Alber Elbaz. I heart him. His English is impeccable, but I love the poetic, accidental beauty that happens when someone is speaking English as their second language.

2.

Die Antwoord, all up in the interwebs. The characters from Gummo grow up and become freakish South African electronica rappers. Be disturbed. Be amazed. I’m not sure how I feel about the fact that I think there’s something catchy about these guys’ music.

3.

Why does everyone (like Jane and Rumi) have Miu Miu satin platforms except me? I think Mrs. Prada should send a pair to me. I like the naked people pattern best, although I’m not sure if it exists in shoe form. I’d definitely say nice things about the shoes, and it wouldn’t even be because I got them for free.

4.

Here’s a lovely little article about Mrs. Prada written by Tim Blanks whom I saw in the flesh at the Anna & Boy fashion show at Rosemount Australian Fashion Week. People, I almost died from the excitement. What amazes me about Mrs. Prada is that in her unrelenting quest to find something new, she always turns out collections that are uniquely and recogniseably Prada.

Tags: Testify!, shoes     |     Add Comment »

A few months ago, I saw this excellent, albeit not so maternal editorial in French Vogue and it made me laugh in a sort of evil, messed up way. So I scanned it in preparation for this very special day.

To all the mamas out there, mine included, I hope you had a wonderful Mother’s Day. And without further ado, here is the adorable, improbably thin, pregnant Lily Donaldson celebrating what motherhood should not be.

Are two cigarettes at once really necessary? Don’t you need a free hand for your martini?

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This morning I woke up to a laptop being plonked on my stomach. As I groggily opened my eyes, I heard the romantic words, “if you love me, you’ll buy me this.”

People, let me share with you what was on the screen:

Sometimes I wonder who I’m marrying.

Image source: www.threadless.com

Tags: Testify!     |     5 Comments »

…I carry it in my creepy golden claw fingers.

This Yves St Laurent ring is proof that evil and beauty can co-exist in perfect, over-priced harmony. FACT.

This ring is so beautiful I need to go find something soft to faint on. Too bad I don’t actually own this ring. Fainting is ever so inelegant when one’s fingers are unadorned.

Images: www.net-a-porter.com

Tags: Accessories, Cult covets     |     3 Comments »

People, I’ve been ever so rubbish and neglectful of my blog. I’m so sorry if you’ve been feeling lonely and like I don’t love you anymore, but that’s simply not true. It’s just that I turned 30 and I’ve been a little distracted by something. “What something?” you might ask. You shall soon find out.

In case turning 30 wasn’t in itself fancy-lady-making enough, my lovely, fabulous, sweet, thoughtful, handsome fiance gave me something that I’ll treasure forever and guard fiercely from the evils of ballpoint pen ink, blue jeans transfer stain and sun damage alike. Please say hello to Victoria, the ostrich leather jewel in the Chloe family crown.

She blasts crazy quantities of awesome into whatever I’m wearing, even if it’s just flannel pyjamas with bunny rabbits on them. When I walk down the street with her, (usually not in bunny rabbit pyjamas), I feel like the coolest girl on the planet who ever lived.

I’m a little afraid to take her on outings just in case I get caught in an unforeseen torrential downpour, or someone touches her with mucky fingers. People in my future, consider yourselves forewarned. Touch my handbag with mucky fingers and you will surely feel my wrath.

Tags: Accessories, Cult covets     |     2 Comments »

Obviously I’m not very savvy because when the Prada collection was shown in Milan, I thought miu miu would follow immediately after, also in Milan. Not so grasshopper.

The miu miu collection in Paris last week raises the age old question: how many bows can be reasonably crammed onto one amazing shoe? Four, apparently:

Unless of course you add floral spat type things. Then the answer is two:

Tags: Cult covets, Fall / Winter     |     3 Comments »

Every Spring, as the weather warms up and the days start getting a bit longer, my Dad recites this poem:

Spring is sprung,
the grass is riz.
I wonder where the birdies is?
They say the bird is on the wing,
but that’s absurd!
I thought the wing was on the bird.

That poem is totally inappropriate for this Fall/Winter post, not to mention the fact that I’m not in Canada anymore, so it’s actually fall where I live, not spring, but it was the first thing that came to mind when I thought “season.” Also, who can’t do with a good Dad Joke every once in a while.

Moving right along.

With the FW shows finishing up, I thought it was high time to get my act together and write a post, because I know you’re all DYING to know which totally expensive, beautiful designer garments I would buy if only I had that disposable income I keep requesting for my birthday every year. (Wealthy people in my life, that’s a hint. I need a benefactor to keep me well shod and clothed. In exchange, I’ll call you every day to tell you how smart and pretty you are, and how much everyone loves you, especially me.)

I haven’t included any of the New York shows because I wasn’t that impressed. Alexander Wang’s collection sums up what I didn’t like about a lot of the New York shows. There were too many exposed midriffs, thigh high stockings and and lumpy looking clothes and I guess I’m the last to notice, but the 90s are unfortunately back. I feel a bit mean and unfair singling out one designer to showcase what I didn’t like about some of the FW collections (especially since I think said designer is usually pretty damn amazing), so I’ll stop harping on the negative and talk about some collections that I did like.

Here we go with the crème de la crème of the FW collections in all their lovely, be-coated glory.

CELINE

Bow down to Phoebe Philo at Celine because she’s done it again, capturing a luxurious simplicity in the colour palette and cut of this collection. Her use of leather is a bit more restrained than in her SS10 collection; she features more leather embellishments rather than models kitted out head to toe.

Check out the silver pin at the collar of the dress below. This collection is about subtle details rather than sometimes unwearable, in-your-face prints and shapes.

PRADA

Maybe one day I’ll regret saying this, but Prada can do no wrong. The dainty but toasty-looking knee socks, swinging coats and dresses and graphic, messy plaids are brilliant. Anyone keen to join me in robbing a bank so we can go shopping at Prada? We wouldn’t steal more money than we needed, just enough for one outfit and maybe a taxi to the Prada shop and a champagne lunch afterwards. You know, the essentials.

RODARTE

Good thing I saved my money not buying Rodarte for Target, because now I’m that much closer to buying one of these looks from Rodarte. If I could even get my hands on a pair of the shoes, I would truly find meaning in this life.

TOPSHOP UNIQUE

And now for something completely different, and dare I say…Unique. (Oh man, I’m batting 1,000 with the lame jokes today)

I never imagined that uni-browed babes in the woods could look quite so deliciously warped and beautiful. Topshop Unique, I’ll be watching you for more beautiful work, but in an I-love-you way, not in a stalker way.

STELLA McCARTNEY

Since Topshop Unqiue just blew all of our minds, I thought I should finish up with something more subdued. Here’s Stella McCartney doing simple, beautiful tailoring like no one else can.

Notice the wide cuffs at the bottom of the pants. I might need to get a bit more money from that bank robbery to pick up a pair of these pants.

Of course there are a gazillion more looks I’d love to include, but this post is getting perilously close to essay length and I don’t want to blow up your computers with too many images and expressions of LOVE.

Images: www.style.com

Tags: Cult covets, Fall / Winter     |     1 Comment »

She goes to movies by herself. She’s got a green thumb. Her favourite colours are rosewood and nutmeg. She lives in an apartment with high ceilings and beat up hardwood floors in a bohemian neighbourhood. She drinks chai lattés on her balcony and heckles passersby. All the girls want to be her best friend. She’s Ethel by Chloe.

Tags: Cult covets     |     1 Comment »

And now for another slam dunk from an Australian retailer:

Behold the perfect shade of camel, the wonderful soft wool and the way the sleeves end just above the wrist bones. Well done, Witchery.

For anyone who thinks that coats are for keeping you warm, here’s a little story that’ll learn ya:

Once, a few years ago, I donned a particularly amazing cropped-sleeve winter coat and went out to meet my lovely friend. Upon seeing that my bare arms were sticking out of my coat sleeves, my lovely friend asked me, “Don’t your arms get cold?” I gave her my best withering look and replied, “Being warm and comfortable is extremely passé.”

Sometimes we clothes horses have to deal with the scoffing questions of the practical set, but when you know that looking stylish is the epitome of all that is right and good in this world, being the subject of scoffing, (and having the occasional goosebump), is absolutely worth it.

I wonder when this beautiful camel coat will be available in stores. I may keel over in a dramatic faint from all this annoying WAITING.

Tags: Cult covets, Fall / Winter     |     6 Comments »

The creative folks at Country Road have outdone themselves with their fall preview. It’s gone off without a hitch. It’s hitchless. Absolutely hitchless. Hitches you say? My good men and women, there aren’t any. Not one hitch to be had.

Some people in my life may wish to note that my birthday is coming up at the end of next month and a gift of any one of these lovely pieces of clothing would knock my socks off.

The only thing I’m a bit dubious about is their choice of male model. He’s handsome and all, but does anyone else think he looks a bit like a vampire?

What are you looking at Vampire Lips? Probably gazing at something delicious. A human, no doubt.

Oh dear. He’s spotted us. I guess there’s no sense in running now.

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