cult of clothes

Clockwise from left: Balmain, Diane von Furstenburg, Calvin Klein, Diane von Furstenburg, Balmain, Rochas

The fall shows are finished, and this season I’m interested in how runway translates to real life. Happy will be the day that I can buy a head to toe Chloe look, but for now I have to be creative with what I’ve got and start squirreling away all my dubloons.

The trends are the usual suspects: menswear, punk rock, statement coats, lots of fur, but what about the faces? All the girls had fabulous strong eyebrows, and the make-up was either scrubbed fresh, or glowing with rosy cheeks, and bright, juicy lips.

Wouldn’t it be great if we could wear what we see in the shows right after they finish? I propose fall faces for summer. Here are my favourites.

Marc by Marc Jacobs

J Crew

Ralph Lauren

Chloe

Tags: beauty, fall / winter     |     Add Comment »

In case you were wondering – and let’s face it, you totally were – this is what happened to me today.

First

I passed a weird house with a becandled shrine to a record album in its front garden.

A cow skull presided over the whole thing.

Next

I passed a couple of minstrels sitting on a park bench. One played a saw with a violin bow. The other accompanied on a ukulele. They were taking themselves very seriously.

After that

I viewed this terrace house for rent.

Looks nice, right? But the savvy renter knows to be suspicious at the absence of kitchen and bathroom photos. I and 30 other viewers quickly discovered that the kitchen was itself a circle of hell, with its laundry sink masquerading as a regular sink, tiny stove shoved into a bricked up fireplace, and conspicuous lack of cabinets. It could be described as ‘rustic,’ if you were feeling kind. Another word that springs to mind is ‘scary.’

And the bathroom? Outside. That’s right, for the low, low price of $495 a week, you could have the unique privilege of going outside every time you have to pee or brush your teeth. Like some kind of new millennium frontiersperson.

What’d you do today?

Tags: testify!     |     Add Comment »

People talk about models not being ‘real women.’ I’m certainly guilty of doing that. But I guess we’re all real women; we hate our noses, think our knees are fat, wish those smile lines around our mouths would quit getting deeper.

Even though our inner critic holds up the most unflattering mirror, it’s a comfort to think that others see a different, much more pleasant reflection.

Tags: beauty, testify!     |     Add Comment »

…we’d all be running around banging pterodactyls over the head with clubs. But judging from Suzy Menkes’ article, “The Circus of Fashion,” it would seem some people miss chasing after flying dinosaurs.

Menkes talks about how fashion should only be for the cool kids, arguing “If fashion is for everybody, is it fashion?” Then a bunch of people get mad. And then Tim Blanks reminisces about the good old days, interestingly linking our hunger for glamour and celebrity to economic bad times:

Lots of people have said lots of things, so I’ll be brief. Isn’t this just another case of people getting mad about things changing?

Change is inevitable. One fine day, uber-brat Justin Bieber will be wiped from the popular consciousness. All the Crocs will be melted down so they’re merely a distant nightmare. In 50 years I’ll probably be shaking my fist at a sky filled with disrespectful whipper snappers zooming around in flying cars. And I’ll be wearing really fantastic shoes when I do it, because some things should never change.

Tags: shoes, testify!     |     Add Comment »

My bus passed a Country Road shop today, and who did I see staring at me from the window? This guy:

Vampire Lips* is back! I wonder where his adventures have taken him, and how many juicy humans he captured with his toothsome wiles.

Speaking of teeth, I’ll take this opportunity to mention a few other handsome vampires: Stefan, Damon, and pretty much the whole bloodthirsty cast of The Vampire Diaries.

You know what would make that show so much better? If they fired the current wardrobe stylist and hired someone who didn’t hate happiness.

Seriously, stop ruining  my life with your ugly clothes. Elena’s lacy thigh highs and furry booties are going to make my head explode. If they can whisk us away to a magical land where everyone is exceptionally good looking, surely they can make everyone exceptionally well-dressed.

*If you have no idea what I’m talking about, click here and scroll to the bottom.

Tags: models     |     Add Comment »

Interwebs, you’ve made us into slipper-clad, coffee-mug-clutching pajama monsters, hunched over laptops with no need to even open the curtains to be connected to the rest of the world. So we’re kind of isolated sometimes. But that doesn’t mean we can’t be isolated in style.

At the request of a couple of my buddies, I’ve compiled a list of my favourite online clothes shopping haunts. And guess what I’m wearing while I write this? A hoodie from Wal-mart and pink and blue polka dot pj bottoms. So much for style.

First, a general comment on shipping. If you live anywhere other than the States, the shipping charges can be so ridiculous, you’d think you were asking them to hop in a canoe and row your parcel over, fighting off sharks the whole way. So the first thing I look for in an online shop is cheap or free shipping, in my case, to Australia.

And about sizing, I try to shop in familiar territory where I know my size.  If I’ve never tried on the brand before, I tend not to buy unless it’s irresistibly cheap or just plain irresistible, and in those cases, I might buy a size up so it can be altered to fit.

1.

JCrew

I love JCrew. The quality of their product usually justifies the price, they’re not afraid of pattern or colour, and they always have tons of stuff on sale.

They absolutely pass my shipping criteria: $10 flat rate shipping to Australia, and whoever rows their canoe is like, so fast.

2.

Anthropologie

Aside from really unique, pretty prints and cuts, what I love best about Anthropologie is that customers leave reviews on each product, and some people even post handy photos. It gives you a good idea about how things fit real humans, whether the fabric warrants the price, or how true to screen the colour is.

Shipping is a bit more expensive: flat rate $25, but often their stuff falls into the irresistible category so I just suck it up.

3.

Urban Outfitters

This is Anthropologie’s scruffy, edgy little sister. The clothes are a bit younger, there are more polyester dresses and plastic shoes, but I still usually find cool casual stuff here.

The shipping to Australia is $10 for orders up to $49.99, and free for orders over $50.

4.

ShopBop

Once you get over how stupid their name is, you discover that these guys carry a squazillion different amazing brands. Their stuff can be more high end, read: expensive, so I like them best for bags, shoes, and jeans.

In a brief aside on jeans, I would just like to say that Earnest Sewn jeans are THE BEST JEANS FOR WOMEN THAT EVER EXISTED IN THE WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD EVER. No other jeans hold a candle to Earnest Sewn. They’re expensive, but you can’t put a price on making your ass look fantastic. ShopBop used to carry them, but not anymore. Humph.

They have free international shipping and literally – but not actually literally, it just seems that way – you click “order” and seconds later a delivery guy is ringing your doorbell.

5.

 ASOS

I began my romance with ASOS when I discovered their maternity range. So much cute stuff, and so cheap. Because I’m in Australia and our seasons are opposite, everything current season for me was on sale. Hello cheap coats with belly room aplenty.

Fun fact: they also sell clothes for people who aren’t knocked up, and like ShopBop, they carry a massive range of brands, and unlike ShopBop their sale section is packed with crazy-awesome deals.

These guys have free international shipping, but it takes about 10 days.

There you have it folks. Now pull out the plastic, go forth into the matrix and shop your brains out.

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I’ve been gone for a while and have left my blog untended so it’s started to look like my balcony garden – thirsty, spindly, and reaching out for the light. But I have a really good excuse: a stork dropped this baby off at our house two Octobers ago, then I blinked, and now he’s a full-blown kid. A laughing, dancing, mischief-making person who seems to have poofed up out of nothingness.

He is wonderful, and he’s a tornado of chaos that’s loosed itself on our lives. He’s beautiful and all-consuming. He’s the biggest, brightest thing in my life and he makes it seem like nothing else matters. Funny how a person who weighs 30 pounds can be so powerful.

Absorbing myself in motherhood has been at times crushingly hard, but it’s mostly amazing. After 16 months of giving every ounce of my energy away to this little person, I’m ready now to climb back onto the grid.

So here I am. It’s nice to to see you again.

Tags: testify!     |     1 Comment »

A sock-knitting fox.

I took a sock-knitting class last winter with my friend Deb. It was held over an eight-week period during which we learned the fine art of knit-purl-knit, turning the heel, and some fancy toe-end stitch I forget the name of. The class cost a whopping $120. The wool was $25.

Behold the fruits of my labour:

Most expensive socks ever? Maybe. Most beautiful socks ever? Probably not, but when the zombie apocalypse comes and your feet get cold, don’t come crying to me because you need my mad sock-knitting skills.

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…something that is sleek

…and chic

…and delightfully nerdy

To all my fine feathered, four-eyed friends, I give you Sneaking Duck eyewear. “Quack,” you say? Quack indeed.

Tags: bags & baubles, cult covets, favourite shopping haunts     |     Add Comment »

Willem Dafoe for Prada Menswear 2012. Gives me chills.

Tags: fall / winter     |     Add Comment »